How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
