No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
