Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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