Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
