she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
