Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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