So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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