you guys were way drunker than both of me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
