If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
