You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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