i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
