so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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