after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
