Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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