I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
...so i touched it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
