yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
