i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize