Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
