We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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