you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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