he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
