She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
