So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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