I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
