I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
