giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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