he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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