nut hugger
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
