They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
