yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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