all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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