Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
