Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
