Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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