It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
