He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
