Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I look better un-naked...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
