all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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