the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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