its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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