so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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