You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
