Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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