dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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