oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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