He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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