her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
