used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
