If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
