I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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