how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
