I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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