I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
