It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
