so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
