I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
True strength comes from lack of pants
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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