He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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